Wow! 100th post! How fitting that it should be a retrospective of the year (yes, I know it's ridiculously self-indulgent but it's my blog, so there).
Firstly, my weight has thundered upwards and I'm now a shocking 1.5 stone heavier than I was this time last year. I am disgusted with myself, particularly after such an indulgent Xmas week. Things must, must, must change as I'm miserable and uncomfortable all the time.
Job wise I started my current one in January so it's been a year, virtually. It was great to begin with but the constant abuse of my time (made me work late on my birthday and miss drinks) and the rubbish pay are seriously starting to bring me down. I'm definitely asking for a pay rise at my year's appraisal (not something I've done before) and if that doesn't work, I think I'll look for something else.
Home wise I managed to move twice this year. Mine and A's flat in Fulham was lovely for 8 months but always temporary when she announced she'd bought a place. We are now in Brixton and although it was a struggle to get used to the culture change I now love the vibrancy of it. I can buy plantain at the market, three streets from my house - genius.
Man wise. Ha ha. It sounds revolting to say there are too many to mention them all, but frankly it's true. I started the year thinking I was on my way to being sorted, only to be chucked in February. From then on the online dating and real life meetings have led to many liasons and a couple of attempts at relationships, none going the distance. I have had many one night stands, many first dates, several third dates, many teenage snogging sessions, a couple of arguments, a lovely number of genuinely fantastic nights out, some exciting text and phone sex, two threesomes (one of each kind), a rampant holiday and one bloke with four nipples. I am no wiser about men now than I was 12 months ago but it's heartening to remember that neither are any of my friends.
Any new year is an opportunity to make a fresh start and resolutions will be firmed up in January. I must think about what I want from men and how I can change my destructive behaviour. This year has made me realise I'm not completely repulsive, and yet I still have shockingly low self esteem. Another thing that needs working on. Still, I love a challenge.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
When bad men happen to good girls
I can't quite believe I've been blogging for over a year (despite the recent lapse in posting). I think I'll leave the bumper-navel gaze for the Christmas week when I'll be trapped in suburbia and bored stupid but for now I can't help my thoughts wandering to the beginning of this year when, as always, anything seemed possible. It's definitely been an odd one.
On Sunday A and I invited all our fave chicks over to the pad for a Christmas soireé. We provided an acre of buffet food and gallons of wine which of course, meant the evening culminating in the 'C*nt of the Year Awards 2007'. Each of us submitted a bloke from the year who has really screwed us over (mine was New York R but it was a tough choice) and the token engaged person among us judged which 'man' was most deserving of the title. It goes to show the levels of horror we've all endured this year when I tell you that R didn't win despite his stellar levels of fuckwittage. The winning bloke was submitted by F, whose ex-boyfriend she was with for 8 years recently texted her out of the blue after 2.5 years of silence. After a couple of hesitant texts, they agreed to meet and of course, alcohol flowed, a romantic meal occured and before you could say 'castrate them all' she was in his bed. A day or so later she mustered up the courage to text him (she was drunk) and 36 hours later, she got a reply which ended with 'see you around'. As if that wasn't bad enough, during the course of the date she discovered he'd lived with someone else for a year since their split; she's only just got to the point where she's ready to date again. A deserving winner, I think we can all agree.
There's not much going on in my life at the moment in terms of men, just a couple of flirtations (and a weekend of filthy sex with one which I really needed). This could be because my confidence has hit rock bottom due to my weight. It's been creeping on the last couple of months and I'm now really uncomfortable. Bloody typical just before the festive season - so like me to make sure I'm really, really fat after the holidays rather than being sensible and allowing a bit of a buffer zone. If only I was the type of girl who lost her appetite in the face of heartbreak rather than one who uses it as yet another excuse to comfort eat. Mind you, if that were the case, based on this year's experiences I'd be thinner than Posh.
On Sunday A and I invited all our fave chicks over to the pad for a Christmas soireé. We provided an acre of buffet food and gallons of wine which of course, meant the evening culminating in the 'C*nt of the Year Awards 2007'. Each of us submitted a bloke from the year who has really screwed us over (mine was New York R but it was a tough choice) and the token engaged person among us judged which 'man' was most deserving of the title. It goes to show the levels of horror we've all endured this year when I tell you that R didn't win despite his stellar levels of fuckwittage. The winning bloke was submitted by F, whose ex-boyfriend she was with for 8 years recently texted her out of the blue after 2.5 years of silence. After a couple of hesitant texts, they agreed to meet and of course, alcohol flowed, a romantic meal occured and before you could say 'castrate them all' she was in his bed. A day or so later she mustered up the courage to text him (she was drunk) and 36 hours later, she got a reply which ended with 'see you around'. As if that wasn't bad enough, during the course of the date she discovered he'd lived with someone else for a year since their split; she's only just got to the point where she's ready to date again. A deserving winner, I think we can all agree.
There's not much going on in my life at the moment in terms of men, just a couple of flirtations (and a weekend of filthy sex with one which I really needed). This could be because my confidence has hit rock bottom due to my weight. It's been creeping on the last couple of months and I'm now really uncomfortable. Bloody typical just before the festive season - so like me to make sure I'm really, really fat after the holidays rather than being sensible and allowing a bit of a buffer zone. If only I was the type of girl who lost her appetite in the face of heartbreak rather than one who uses it as yet another excuse to comfort eat. Mind you, if that were the case, based on this year's experiences I'd be thinner than Posh.
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