Testing...1,2,3

I have been inspired. I've skulked in the shadows for far too long, it's time to step into the light, raise my virtual face to the virtual sun and pour my Important Thoughts into the virtual universe.

The only slight issue, tiny really, is that I'm not currently having any. Important Thoughts, I mean. It was a different story at 1am as I lay awake listening to Party House having another unfeasibly large gathering on our street, killing time by composing 'hilarious' posts in my head. I awoke convinced I was going to start my own blog and unleash my consciousness into the world, enrapturing thousands with my insightful missives. Even on the tube this morning I remained inspired despite the attempts of the man next to me to asphyxiate the entire carriage with Lynx deodorant. I'm not sure which flavour he'd selected as they largely smell the same to me but I would imagine it's called something like 'Thrust' or 'Stud' or 'Delusional.' I was able to block him out in the nasal sense and chuckle quietly to myself with glee (whilst maintaining the Double Hard Bastard/Don't Fuck With Me stare, natch) at the thought of all the lovely, juicy bits of consciousness that would keep me blogging away for weeks.

Yet here I am. Blog created, stack of work firmly ignored, tea brewed and...nothing. Not a squeak, not a drop, not a sprinkle of inspiration.
Perhaps the key is stealth. If I approach the blog determined to write something I would want to read if I wasn't me and suddenly found me, then the internal pressure will just overwhelm me. Countless failures of the past will loom like sinewy demons into my peripheral vision, taunting me with the laughter of the schoolyard like that time I fell over whilst playing kiss chase and ended up with fish lips for a week when I was seven, and I'll have to have a cup of tea and a bit of a sit down.
On the other hand, if I just keep it open on the desktop, quietly doing whatever open applications quietly do, I can surprise my thought processes into action by just clicking and typing randomly.

Actually there has been quite a lot of action this year - a lot of events that have made me think 'If only I had a blog, this would make a great post.' I may begin all this properly with a retrospective of 2006 because it really has been a doozy (whatever that is). I guess bringing it all up to date would make sense, I'll just have to decide where to start. Minty the Rat, Kidnappings, Break Ups... so much joy to choose from.

I'll have a think.