A Job Interview With Cocktails

Last night the musician called me, ostensibly to book our first date but we ended up talking for two hours. I am officially enraptured yet utterly terrified at the same time because tonight's the night. The First Date. He's coming all the way to my corner of London to see me.
I am not, by nature, a particularly shy person. I don't have a problem meeting people - I even perform well in job interviews. But stick me on a first date and I turn into a petrified mass of insecurity. I don't know why I find it so hard to remain calm and just view it as though it were meeting a friend. I think it's largely down to the fact that I'm never sure I'm good enough and fear that nobody else will either. Essentially you're meeting up to assess one another and yes, I know it's a two way street but I automatically put them on a fantasy pedestal and place myself kneeling beneath it somewhere far below.
I guess I just don't want to blow this one. Hang on, let me rephrase that rather unfortunate sentence; I don't want to mess this one up. I always worry that I'm not really being me on a date (is anyone?) so I tend to either fit myself to their mould or I start coming out with views and opinions I don't even believe just to have something to say or to seem more interesting. It's like I get a form of First Date Tourettes.

Unfortunately unless you are so overweight you cannot leave the house and are forced to conduct your relationships with faceless strangers on the internet whilst pretending to be a size 8 underwear model, at some point you have to meet them. The musician admitted to me that he was 'excited but scared' about meeting me. He told me that he really wants us to click because we seem to have a lot in common and get on so well on the phone (hey, 2 conversations I know but that's 5 hours of talking in total). Both of us said how sad it would be to have had this great 'virtual' connection but to then have it fizzle out in person and just have to walk away. Great, so no pressure then. Still, at least we've both admitted we're nervous - there is no false bravado on show here. God, how on earth am I going to get any work done today? Roobs, Oz Girl and I all have GAP vouchers so we're going shopping at lunchtime. I think I'll buy myself a nerve-steadying new top. Any port in a storm...