Two delightful events lifted what promised to be an extraordinarily dull weekend.
Firstly I tried on and purchased a sweater dress. Not the most thrilling event, relatively speaking, but to me it's a landmark. During the summer, I attended a family gathering to which I made the unfortunate mistake of wearing an outfit which not only demonstrated how, to put it bluntly, chubby I'd become but also made me sweat like some kind of farmyard animal as I'd failed to anticipate the ridiculously hot weather. To cap it all I stupidly had my photo taken with my cousin who is gorgeous and very, very slim (she runs). When my mum blithely handed me the pack of pictures a few weeks later I came to that one and felt as though I'd been slapped with a sockful of coins. I immediately put myself on a diet and since then have lost just over 2 stone. A few months ago, the thought of wearing what is essentially a knitted tube would have sent me scurrying for the darkest corner of room, however, joy of joys! On Saturday I stood and marvelled at how not-horrendous I looked in the cashmere-blend, soft navy, knitted tube. I'm wearing it today and working the heeled boot look with it. Not to sound shockingly superficial but there really are occasions when, as a girl, you can lift your own spirits and make yourself feel fabulous just by wearing the right outfit.
The second event was a glorious three-hour phone call with the musician yesterday afternoon. He text me first to ask if it was ok to call (bless). When I read the text I actually felt my heartbeat speed up at the thought of actual voice contact. We'd sent a couple of cheeky texts at the weekend but this was a big development.
We talked, and we talked and then we had a break for respective loo visits and tea making, then he called me back and we talked some more. He is fascinating and he makes me laugh. His outlook on life is philosophical but grounded and he can maintain an interesting conversation whilst going off on little tangents and still making sure he asks me questions. I think we're going to try and meet up one evening this week. I got off the phone and immediately felt myself plunge headfirst into Crushville. I am now demonstrating all the signs of a woman with a major crush. These are:
1) I've stopped watching TV because no one on there is sufficiently romantic. Instead I'm listening to CDs from my past whilst lying across my bed, just like I did when I was 15.
2) I'm not eating proper meals. Instead I'm just wandering into the kitchen occasionally and picking at whatever's around.
3) I lay awake last night for hours just replaying the conversation in my head. When I remembered the moment he told me he believed in 'The One' I knew I wasn't getting to sleep any time soon.
4) I'm daydreaming about him on the tube
5) I'm smoking more which I think is due to heightened nerves and anticipation
6) I keep re-reading his text messages, even though I know them by heart
It's pathetic, really. I'm old enough to know better than this and I haven't even seen him since the night we met. I guess the date will be the clincher. I'm now worried that meeting will break the spell. What if he doesn't like me after all or what if he's not as gorgeous as I remember? On the other hand will I plunge deeper into the chasm of my crush, destined to listen to bad love songs and eat too much toast for the next few months? I have to meet him and find out. Maybe I'll wear the sweater dress.
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