The Shameful Admission

I have a Shameful Admission.

I can only make this S.A. because this is the equivalent of my diary and diaries do not judge or ridicule or reply. Plus no one knows who I am and there's probably no one reading this so it's safe.

Last night I texted a boy in response to his ad on a dating-type website.

Oh God it looks even worse written down. The thing is, in this sprawling metropolis I have realised that it's basically impossible to meet any nice/non-axe murdery men who might want to buy me red wine and kiss me next to a waiting taxi then send me naughty texts at bedtime. It's either a constant race-to-shag or something resembling the finals for the Ugly Freak Olympics (I know, I know - shallow bint).

I'm probably going to the wrong places but bars seem to be filled with desperate, drink-sodden piss artists hanging around in packs uttering such alluring chat up lines as 'If you leave now, who will I have sex with?' (this was said to me in Apt Bar in the City last week with no provocation whatsoever - total dive, don't bother). Another sparkling opening gambit recently was 'What's the difference between a bespoke suit and off the peg?' Firstly, what?? Secondly, props for originality but please, please fuck off really quickly. It's hopeless.

My justification for my actions was that I have given my phone number out countless times in bars with varying degrees of success and gone home with a few and any one of them could have been a Dangerous Type couldn't they? So why do we assume people that post on websites for a date are loonies/sad cases? Maybe they've seen the light... OK so I'm trying hard to justify the S.A. but still.
Anyway, we shall call him Ad Man and his post sounded lovely. Normal, down to earth and friendly and he could spell! I know that may not sound like the most important criteria but believe me, it matters. A man could be the sexiest, most well paid cock-model who also does work for charity but if he can't spell, he comes off sounding like a drooling moron. There was no option to reply by email to Ad Man, so I texted him (cue profuse sweating and the panicky flinging of my phone onto my bed as it sent).

This morning I got a text back. Initial high followed by wave of sicky-fear about what I'd entered into but fortunately his text was as normal as his post - even lamenting the number of nutters who had responded, whilst taking care to point out I wasn't one of them. Already I'm at the top of the pack by virtue of not being a nutter! He gave me his email address so I waited a non-desperate looking amount of time (an hour and a half) and emailed him. No response yet but he probably likes his job and is actually working or something.

Unfortunately there is one very good reason why I should not have done this. I should not have even been surfing this sort of website and I definitely should not have fired off a deliberately casual email this morning. It's the reason I'm wondering exactly what I'm hoping for. Hmmmm.