Goosebumps

Last night I went to see Phantom of the Opera. I didn't just go to see it though, I went to meet E, the fabulous girl I met at my cousin's wedding. She's a sound engineer and has worked on the show for the last year or so and she invited me to go along and watch it from her sound board. Now, I've always had a thing for creative types; actors, artists, musicians...they simply dazzle me and I adore being in their presence. Not least of all because if my life had turned out the way I wanted I'd be writing/acting/singing rather than wasting my days pushing paper. Anyway, I digress. I met E at the stage door (the excitement!) and she took me up to meet some of the engineers she works with. Just before the show was due to start we made our way downstairs to the sound booth which is at the back of the stalls. On the stairs we passed an unremarkable red-haired guy who greeted E warmly and smiled at me. I later learned that was the Phantom.

I felt secretly quite important being able to sit in this special little area whilst people were filing in to take their seats. E is amazing - watching her work was fascinating. We sat in front of a gigantic and scary looking bank of sliders and dials over which her hands fluttered throughout the performance. I ate chocolate raisins in silent awe.

Although I love the theatre I'm not a fan of musicals. When people sing random lines at one another, the voice in my head hisses 'Just say it for Christ's sake!' I just don't get the point. However last night I can honestly say I was impressed. For a start the sets were unbelievable. Obviously if you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about but the scenes moved effortlessly from a theatre stage with sweeping velvet curtains and ballerinas twirling around, to the Phantom's lair complete with a moving boat, a million candles and a massive iron gate. Although the singing still annoyed me I found myself enchanted by the spectacle of it.

During the interval, after having a quick cup of tea in the sound engineer's room E gave me a quick tour of the theatre during which time we ran into several of the actors, waiting in the wings for Act Two which was very exciting. Obviously they were very down to earth and quite chatty but it was as much as I could do to form coherent sentences and suddenly felt very suburban. After the show was over we gathered our things together and I trailed round after E as she collected mics from actors and chatted with some girls from the chorus. We moved on to the theatre staff's local pub and hung out with the wardrobe manager and some of the lighting guys. It was so exciting to be with people who were so massively removed from my circle of friends. I also got on really well with E and we're both keen to go for drinks properly soon.

Elsewhere I'm trying not to be too preoccupied by my date with J on Saturday night. I have to admit to being pretty scared about it as he's been pretty graphic about the things he wants to do. I know it's absolutely my right to say I don't want to meet him but an overwhelming part of me is compelled to do so. I am tired of giving into fear. What with this dominant character suddenly on the periphery of my life, and having spent the evening watching a play about a man overpowering and capturing a young girl, I had disturbing dreams about being kidnapped and trapped last night. Whatever this phase of my life is, its beginning to get under my skin.