From Frump to Fabulous (sort of)

Last night I spent an hour on the phone to S, my date for tonight. He was lovely, very funny and totally got my sense of humour. I'm not allowing myself to get lulled into premature satisfaction at this point because let's face it, I've met some apparently terrific guys doing this dating site thing that have very quickly turned out to be cockmonkeys. Although after the phone call, he text me to say he was really looking forward to meeting me which I thought was a nice touch. He's on myspace too so I found his page and was treated to a vast array of photos and a much more honest portrayal of him than his dating site profile. This isn't a surprise. My myspace page is definitely me but the dating profile is a little more reserved (understandably). I can see from the range of pictures that he's very cute as you would expect from an aspiring actor. He's disgustingly photogenic and one might almost say 'pretty' (delicate features bordering on the feminine etc). He is also photographed with a lot of girls, all of whom are attractive and/or slim. One has to question the motives behind his joining a dating website when he's clearly very sociable, funny and attractive. OK so he's struggling actor and works part time as a waiter but that would only be a minus point if he was a girl, on a bloke it's 'romantic'. Mind you, I've not been short of action since joining the site and I don't think I'm offensive in any way (OK verbally occasionally but I don't tend to hurl abuse on dates even when provoked). A from work says it's just another way of meeting people and doesn't mean you're physically incapable of doing so in real life which I knew already but needed to hear again.
I have just had a very in-depth discussion with A, my current favourite confidant, about my outfit for this evening. I was planning on going straight there from work but it occured to me that I hate what I'm wearing, at least in the context of a first date. The only flesh on display is my arms and my face. I'm not advocating dressing like a slut ho to ensnare a man but I wouldn't mind it if his pants tingled a little at the sight of me. We agreed that my long black strapless top with a teeny black cardi over the top to take away the ho-ness. A little bit dressy, a little bit fleshy and not frumpy. S claims this is his first date from the website which made me feel quite siren-like but also oddly a bit Mrs Robinson-y. At the very least I'll have to make it a good experience even if it doesn't work out - I don't want to be responsible for the abrupt end of his dating 'career'. I have already decided I will not be getting drunk and will definitely not be sleeping with him if things look like going that way. This is despite him meeting me walking distance from my flat and my flatmate being away. I think I could like this bloke and I really don't want to mess it up.

Being at home for a few minutes between work and date also means I can properly repair my make up and attempt to cover the spot that been on my chin for weeks now. It started out as a mini-mountain with a pulse then shrank over the course of a week or so and is now just a low level annoyance that sometimes looks like a scar and sometimes flares up into a little spot again. It's currently doing the latter (of course). It is Perma-Zit. It must be a phenomenon, I should be studied by dermatologists.

I am still talking to J. He eventually IM'd me yesterday and we talked for a while, he then rang me last night. The problem is, emotions are definitely starting to get in the way (by that I mean my crush). He told me he'd been thinking about me all day which really didn't help. Today he rang me on my mobile to say he was unable to get online and didn't want me to think he'd abandoned me. We also seem to have calmed down on the dirty talk which I find interesting. It's almost as if before he got to know me he could objectify me as just someone to fuck whereas now he gets a little of who I am, he's become much more tender and emotional. It's confusing the hell out of me and I'm more than a little worried. Not least of all because he's off to Tenerife for a week with one of his mates and I don't for a second expect that he won't shag anything he can get his mitts on (two twenty four year old single blokes surrounded by easy chicks from Essex?? please!). The real problem there is, I'm about 3 heartbeats away from caring.

God I hope tonight goes well.