Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Gas and Electric

Of course its over. Took a while to die, though. He suddenly realised he wanted to try and win me back after the glitter of his holiday faded and he understood what a bastard he'd been. I agreed to go to dinner on Saturday and it was excruciating. I was angry, hurt and beligerent, he was uncomfortable, distant and jet-lagged. It was obvious things weren't working so we left on an uncertain note then I rang him on Monday night and ripped off the metaphorical plaster. He apparently realised over the weekend that I like him more than he likes me. Could have fooled me, seriously. Still, the chances of two people actually liking each other equally are slimmer than a gnat's wing so I shouldn't be surprised. I am upset, hollow and sad but not surprised.

So. What next?

Healing: Obviously, although addressing and dealing with another rejection feels like an insurmountable task right now.

Fun: Would be a good thing but I have to be careful not to slide down the slope of angry drinking which threatens every night.

Occupying myself with alternative activities: Well I move house in two weeks so that'll keep me busy, plus will provide a physical fresh start to go with my emotional one.

Learning: Hmmm, difficult this one. I'm not totally sure what lessons I can take away from that last dalliance. Never trust the Scottish? When a bloke quotes you song lyrics the chances are he'll dump you barely two weeks later? If a guy says he's sharing a hotel room with a girl under ANY circumstances, run for the hills and don't look back? Don't trust men if their mouths are moving because the chances are, they're lying? Don't let the bitterness eat you alive...actually, no. I'm not sure that last one is possible.

My flatmate, A, said something insightful to me the other night. Which was this:

"It's like gas cookers and electric cookers. Men are gas because they can suddenly flip on a flame, burn hot very quickly then extinguish it in an instant. Women are electric cookers. They take a while to get warmed up, when they are they get really hot but they can't just switch off the heat - it takes a lot longer for the electric cooker to cool down."

Beats Mars and Venus as an analogy anyway.

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