I don't know what it is about me that craves solitude from time to time. I consider myself to be very sociable and gregarious but I am also completely happy with my own company. Lately I don't feel as though I've had any time to myself. What with the new job, the hectic flat move, getting involved with S and desperately trying to find time to see all the important people in my life I feel as though my time has belonged to everyone but me.
I had hoped that with A away until next Tuesday, I would be able to set aside some time this weekend to be alone and just potter but it seems I am required for bridesmaid dress shopping. That's the thing about agreeing to be someone's bridesmaid. You don't just commit to the day, you commit to a year or more of wedding dress shopping, veil shopping, endless conversations about the big day from what colour the ushers should wear to what they should serve as a starter, numerous discussions about dress length for the bridesmaids and then trips to go and try things on. It's an absolute honour to be asked but I'm the only one for this wedding so it's all on me. It just means that where I thought I'd spend tomorrow night with S then have a couple of days of blissful solitude, I will now be getting up early on Saturday to go shopping then entertaining CM for the evening. After that got booked I just thought to hell with it and booked something in for Sunday too although it's one of those flaky commitments that may not happen. I spotted that the Curzon cinema in Mayfair is showing Casablanca which (don't judge me) I've never seen. How absolutely perfect though because the first time I ever see it will be on the big screen! S is apparently coming with me although I worry that Weds, Fri and Sun is a bit much. I don't want to overdo it after all so we'll see if that actually happens.
Tomorrow night we're going to see Hot Fuzz which I am so, so excited about. I am a complete Simon Pegg fanatic and know Spaced practically verbatim. This is supposed to be even better than Shaun of the Dead so I have high hopes!
Last night we completely failed to go for dinner. We met in a bar off Piccadilly Circus and after a bottle of wine decided we couldn't be bothered to move so we basically just stayed and got leathered pausing only to consume heavily-breaded hot bar snacks. Nutritionally useless but delicious nonetheless.
It was a slightly strange atmosphere but sometimes I wonder if that's just in my head. I was really tired so I wasn't very sparkly but he didn't seem to notice. He came home with me and we had a very drunken but very hot session before going to sleep/passing out. I have realised that he seems rubbish at initiating physical contact. It's nearly always me that reaches out a hand to him or gives him a kiss and that's not too often because I don't like PDA's at all. It just means that we spend a large amount of time like awkward acquaintances who aren't sure how to behave around one another. I guess it'll be up to me to be a bit more assertive and not just assume he's not touching me because he doesn't want to. After all, he always reciprocates. Honestly though, why is it all about the fucking head games? Why can't men and women just be honest with each other? Seriously, I'm getting to damn old for this.
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