Nerves

It's my last day at my current job. I am swaddled in an odd combination of sadness at leaving behind such a fabulous bunch of girls and nervous excitement about my new job.
First of all though there is the glamorously messy leaving party tonight for which we've all bought in around four tops each for 'trysies' (I love girls). I had my presentation yesterday when the boss was here and they bought me a large selection of items from my favourite make up brand; Benefit. They know me better than I thought they did. I will be debuting one of the sparkly eye shadows tonight, called enticingly, 'mint julep'. I am wearing my skinny jeans which will be teamed with a dressy top that hasn't seen the light of day for a good couple of years (does that qualify it as vintage?!). I weighed myself this morning and another 3lb have miraculously vanished meaning I have now lost 34lb in total. I feel hungry but happy.

A and I have found a flat which is fabulous news. Plus we get to stay in Fulham which is even better. I'm so relieved to have it sorted out before my new job starts. Just the packing to do now (hurrah).

Having got used to S being highly attentive with regard to emails and texts (pretty much every day) I became rather unsettled when I emailed him on Tuesday only to receive quite a short, non-lovely reply. I was off work on Wednesday afternoon for errand running and so I text him at the very end of the day to say hey...no reply. I tried not to worry that he'd perhaps changed his mind about me (shamefully it crossed my mind that one of the many ex-girlfriends he's in touch with had persuaded him to remove the 'ex' - see? told you I was insecure) and that he was probably just busy at work but by 9pm last night I was cross. I know it's early days but how hard is it to send someone a text mid-week to say 'really busy...talk soon etc'? Why do men only see everything in black and white? Why can't they spot the different shades of grey and subtle nuances that women do? Anyway, I called and there was no reply so I didn't leave a voicemail (I'd damaged my power base enough) but shortly afterwards he rang me back. It was an odd phone call. He sounded tense as he explained how he'd been having issues at work and was close to quitting and that he'd been out a lot in the evenings. I tried to be upbeat but as usual I was reduced to shyness and nerves due to being on the backfoot as the one doing the 'chasing'.
It does seem though that we are getting together tomorrow night and that he is venturing down to West London to come to my favourite family-run Italian restaurant. Despite the slightly odd week (mainly in my head, admittedly), I am really looking forward to seeing him. I've freaked myself out by how much I like him though so I think I really need to chill.

Anyway, this is likely to be my last post for a while because of the new job. I can't imagine I'll have much time so until I get the cash together to buy a laptop, I'll have to post as and when I have the time. It's a shame because this is rapidly becoming a very cathartic exercise.