It's Been a While

I pick up my blog a whole 21 months after I last posted. I am not going to go into detail here about the last 21 months because they've been shocking. Here instead are a few handy bullet points.

• Had a year long relationship with a guy who turned out to be a manic depressive. He attempted suicide when I dumped him. I found him. When it was finally over he stalked me for three months. It ended in March 09 and I am still wounded.
• Developed an allergy to perfume which resulted in hideous rashes on my face and severely swollen eyes. This happened three times before the allergy patch tests revealed it was perfume. I have since discovered it's mainly aerosol perfume that exacerbates it.
• I was made redundant. Spent 10 weeks over the summer navel gazing and panicking only to get a much better job with a much better company. I now work in advertising.
• Got a flat on my own. Still rental but I live by myself and I love it.

Since the horror relationship ended I hadn't been touched let alone kissed by another man until one night over Christmas when I met up with a guy I hadn't seen since I was 19. Surfer Boy (because he does) was a crush of mine from when I was about 15. In the days before Facebook or mobile phones there was no way of keeping in touch with crushes unless you exchanged full postal addresses and landline numbers (which ran the risk of speaking to someone's dad). So whenever we bumped into each other we'd end up 'getting off' with each other. Since then he's been married and is now in the final stages of divorce. We've been in contact on Facebook since middle of last year and in the last 5 months or so the contact has been almost daily. Unfortunately my weight has skyrocketed (comfort eating) so I had been dodging his occasional suggestions of meeting up. However, he lives in my hometown and over Christmas I decided it was about time we met up.

He looked just the same. I mean, I'd seen pics on Facebook of course but this was different. I felt 15 years old again. It was bank holiday so everywhere was shut but we found an open Cafe Rouge and settled in for a couple of bottles of red and a catch up. Early closing came too soon and we had a lock in, then continued drinking and talking in his car. We kissed and it was just the same only maybe a little more practised on both sides. He mentioned coming up to see me and I agreed but since there has been no mention of that. We're still in touch virtually every day one way or another and I am in full blown crush overload. It's made my diet all the more vital as I would give anything to go to bed with him. I haven't had sex for 15 months which, if you read back over this blog, is pretty shocking for me.

I need to lose 2 stone. I don't imagine it'll be quick but it must happen and stay off. I have started my diet with earnest and the desire for Surfer Boy coupled with the fact none of my clothes fit properly is spurring me on. I've done it before...I can do it again.