Ego

M got back in touch with me last week. We spoke on the phone for about an hour on Thursday night and arranged to meet up on Saturday night. He came over to my neck of the woods and we just did a couple of the local bars. My flatmate was away so inevitably he came back to mine which I was fine with. I'd been worried I wouldn't fancy him given that I was really out of it when we met but boy, did I fancy him. He is all charisma coupled with sparkly eyes, a gorgeous body and an absolutely killer smile. Back at my place we carried on drinking, played music, got off with each other and basically messed about until about 5am. As he was leaving on Sunday morning, he said he'd like to 'do this again'. I agreed and told him to call me, to which he responded 'Well you could call me, you know.' I replied that I didn't like to assume and his response was simply 'Assume.' Fair enough then. To be honest though he's way next weekend and the one after so I've really no idea when I'd see him again anyway. After that, I'm potentially going on holiday with my friend R so things could quite easily fizzle out. I hope they don't though. He does seem to be a bit of a lad but obviously that just makes him more attractive to me. I'm very preoccupied with thoughts of him at the moment and I'm annoyed with myself for giving in to yet another crush.

N is due back in just over two weeks. I can't believe how quickly this three months has gone. I'm still very keen to meet up with him when he gets back but honestly I can't really remember what he looks like or what his voice sounds like...he's become a sort of wispy memory and I'm slightly concerned that I'll be disappointed or vice versa. Still, nothing ventured obviously.

I discovered last week that The Ex is moving his girlfriend into his flat. This is surprising because a) I didn't know he had a girlfriend and b) we've only been apart for 9 months so this is astonishingly quick work on behalf of a confirmed commitophobe. She is apparently the diametric opposite of me; sporty, laddish and with an utter aversion to make up. This is a good thing though - had she been a clone of me it would have been creepy. At least this way I can be sure that I just wasn't the right sort of match for him, rather than just a rubbish version of a type he adores. Needless to say after finding out just a couple of weeks ago that that a previous ex is getting married, I was feeling extremely inadequate. Perhaps that's why I'm in full blown crush mode with M - maybe my bruised ego is just crying out for some validation. No change there then.